Saturday, July 21, 2012

Are you lonesome tonight?

Does everyone feel jealousy? I seem to feel it all the time. Jealousy of friends who are traveling in Europe, jealousy of friends with children, jealousy of those who have never had to worry about money, ever. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful life. I'm a homeowner, I have a good job, nine fuzzy "kids" and an amazing husband. But sometimes I struggle with jealousy. For example: My friend just bought his wife a hot-air balloon ride. Yeah. And it's not as though this is a rare occurrence-he's always doing random acts of kindness for her. Which is great. Just great. I've never really studied love languages but if I could make an educated guess, it would be that my love language is gifts. And that sounds so commercial and superficial, but I thrive on things being done for me or given to me. I don't need them to be extravagant...they don't even have to cost money. I just need to know that someone took time out of their day to think of me. I know how much hubby loves me, BELIEVE ME I do. He just didn't really have a father figure to teach him how to really dote on a woman. Brother-in-law is also a source of jealousy. Frankly, I don't think I need to compete with him for my husband's attention but here I am, blogging, while the boys play games. Hoo-fuggin-ray. I'm just frustrated...I used to be jealous of his cat, for Pete's sake. Bottom line is, I'm insecure and, well, lonely, and need his attention. I don't want to be two years into my marriage and resenting the things my husband isn't doing, because he just doesn't know any better. Do all women go through this or am I just a bitter old nag? I suppose it might help if I took my meds. Ugh.